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SOCIAL

Ten things to never say to an Austrian

Ten things to never say to an Austrian

Thousands of runners will join the Wings for Life World Run in 2015. The organizing team has prepared a list of the ten things you should never say to an Austrian.

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1. “I love kangaroos!”

And so do we. Problem: There are none of the fluffy marsupials around. You are either American, or we need to have a serious talk with your geography teacher. Australia is just a little over 14,000 kilometres (that’s 8,600 miles, for the not-so-metric-crowd) away. If you intend to stick to Australia, here’s something for you. www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/au/en/melbourne/

<iframe width="700" height="525" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/LOa8TBdS2zk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com
2. “Do you yodel?”

Yes, all the time. That’s why we don’t have cell phones or text messaging. In fact we break into yodelling at any occasion that seems fit. Really? Come on!

<iframe width="700" height="525" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/67rc96joOz8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/
"What language do you speak?" OK, that’s a tough one. Technically it’s German. The Germans, though, might disagree. Austria has a staggering number of accents and dialects, some that sound a bit German that make speakers from the beautiful western state of Vorarlberg completely incomprehensible to his fellow countrymen from Vienna; even villages around a city have massively different accents.  
<iframe width="700" height="394" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/2li27FAQiKk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/
4. “I love the “Sound of Music!”

Good for you. No Austrian in his right mind will ever admit to having heard or seen the movie. It’s the ultimate no-go and an entirely valid reason for having your citizenship revoked. If you want to stay friends with the Austrian people, you should keep your love for the Trapps to yourself. 

<iframe width="700" height="394" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/5fH2FOn1V5g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/
5. “It’s such a beautiful little country.”

Ouch. That really hurt. To us, Austria is still the long-gone  monarchy, minus the emperor, his moustache, Hungary and all the other beautiful regions that used to make up our great nation. At least now the borders of our country finally resemble our favourite food: Wienerschitzel, a breaded and deep-fried veal schnitzel.

<iframe width="700" height="394" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/O0peWa-GmU4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/
 6. Do you wear Dirndl and Lederhosen?

OK, this would pass as an acceptable question; however, it depends on whom you ask. If you believe we brave the harsh Alpine winters in short skirts and leather shorts, then we have to disappoint you – no. However, we might wear the traditional clothes to have a beer or two.

<iframe width="700" height="394" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/sBJWEiXmbiI?list=PLSf6YmoFq9XF0HgQ7nVjtpzXL9bvcwBfc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com
 7. “I’ll be back.”

Oh yes, that’s a funny one. So what? Arnold Schwarzenegger was born in Austria but has long moved on to govern other people, those of the Great State of California. Don’t get us wrong, we appreciate you visiting our wonderful country, just don’t do it with the most over-quoted line from a 30-year-old movie. Thank you.
<iframe width="700" height="394" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/-YEG9DgRHhA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/
8. “You are so polite.”

Thanks, we know. It’s part of the gig, would you please have a seat. Since the only thing the Swiss have contributed to mankind is the "chalet style" cuckoo clock, and the Germans are too busy building cars, we Austrians like to think of ourselves as the last frontier of kindness and politeness. Alright, maybe with the exception of the Viennese. They even scare us.
<iframe width="700" height="394" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/WS-JcaPFzp4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/
 9. “May I call you Franz?”

No, you may not. We Austrians have a tendency to start getting hysterical and even rude if someone simply starts addressing us by our first name. That’s what we have last names for. Family and close friends are an exception – you are not. To make matters worse, we are obsessed with academic titles.

<iframe width="700" height="394" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/3RVjpuJzw74" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/
10. “Do you live in the mountains?”

Contrary to popular belief, we do have real cities. Yes, there’s a pretty serious chance of running into a mountain or hill, but no, we have not yet retreated to caves. Stay tuned.
<iframe width="700" height="394" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/AFZBOTgL_Hk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Photo: http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/


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